i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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