If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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