Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
