ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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