I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
We got so high we made milksteak
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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