but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
