His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
