I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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