just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
