Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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