she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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