You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
