ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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