what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
