you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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