I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
