I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize