I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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