We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
