i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize