it wasn't lemon gatorade
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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