And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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