Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
