oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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