I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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