Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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