I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
