some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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