Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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