Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
