God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
