Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Houston, we have a blender
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize