he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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