i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
