i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
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