There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
