Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
