I think im going to throw up on grandma
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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