just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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