i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
