im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
