Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
