i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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