Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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