Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
