so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
