if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
