my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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