i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Its about making memories worth repressing
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
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