my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
