Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
