I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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