Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
