goodnight i made you a song goodbye
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize