Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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