I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i dont even know how to be here
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
