I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize