I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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