My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
