Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
