sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize