is wine microwaveable?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
