So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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