Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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