She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
