Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
