In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize