I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
