ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
